Tarbiyah: Is Beating or Smacking Children Permissible in Islam?

Tarbiyah: An Important Duty Enjoined by Allah to Parents

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Tarbiyah (the proper upbringing) of children is one of the important duties enjoined by Allah upon parents. This can be clearly understood from the words of Allah and His Messenger (ﷺ).

Allah says: “O you who believe! Ward off yourselves and your families against a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones, over which are (appointed) angels stern (and) severe, who disobey not, (from executing) the Commands they receive from Allah, but do that which they are commanded” [Surah al-Tahreem 66:6]

Prophet (ﷺ) too gave the responsibility of Tarbiyah to the parents.

It was narrated that Abd-Allah ibn Umar said: I heard the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) say: “Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock. The ruler is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. A man is the shepherd of his family and is responsible for his flock. A woman is the shepherd of her husband’s household and is responsible for her flock. A servant is the shepherd of his master’s wealth and is responsible for his flock.” He said: and I think he said, “A man is the shepherd of his father’s wealth and is responsible for his flock. Each of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock.” [Narrated by Al Bukhari, 583; Muslim, 1829].

It is the parents’ responsibility to raise their children from a young age to love Allah and His Messenger (ﷺ), and to love the teachings of Islam. They should teach their children that Allah has prepared Paradise and Hell; that His Hell is intensely hot, and that its fuel is men and stones.

Haram (prohibited) Forms of Beating or Smacking

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First of all, it is important for us to understand what kind of beating or smacking is prohibited in Islam:

1. It is prohibited to beat children in a manner that causes harm or injury. Smacking should not cause injury, nor should it be directed at the face or any vulnerable part of the body. Rather, if resorted to, it should only be light and on areas such as the shoulder, hands, or legs, where no serious harm would result. The Prophet (ﷺ) also specifically forbade striking the face.
2. It is prohibited to beat children out of personal anger or a desire to vent one’s frustration, rather than with the sincere intention of discipline and correction.
3. It is not permissible to strike more than ten times, as the Prophet (ﷺ) forbade exceeding this limit.

It was narrated from Abu Bardah al-Ansari that he heard the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) say: No one should be given more than ten lashes except in the case of one of the hadd punishments of Allah.” [Narrated by Al Bukhari (6456) & Muslim (3222)]

Halal (permissible) Forms of Beating or Smacking

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Smacking is a means of correcting the child, particularly when the child is stubborn and disobedient, and all efforts of verbal advice have failed. Islam prescribes systems of punishment, such as ḥadd and non-ḥadd punishments, in order to set people straight and put a stop to evil and disobedience. Similarly, Islam recognizes disciplining and correcting children as part of their education and upbringing, so as to keep them away from harmful ways. The Prophet (ﷺ) advised parents to correct their children and prevent them from wrongdoing.

It was narrated from Ibn Abbaas that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: “Hang your whip where the members of the household can see it, for that will discipline them.”

[Narrated by al-Tabaraani, 10/248; its isnaad was classed as hasan by al-Haythami in Majma’ al-Zawaa’id, 8/106, Al albani said it is hasan]

The following are some key summarized points regarding permissible smacking for tarbiyah:

1. It must be done only as a last resort, after all other means have been tried.
2. It should only be done occasionally, as it is not frequently needed. Most of the time, a stern verbal warning does the job.
3. It must be done in private and not in front of others, so as to protect the child’s self-esteem and dignity.
4. It must be done with the intention of disciplining the child for the sake of Allah.
5. It must be done with mercy in the heart toward the child, without any trace of hatred.

The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: “Teach your children to pray when they are seven years old, and smack them (lightly) if they do not pray when they are 10 years old, and separate them in their beds.” [Abu Dawood (459) and Ahmad (6650), Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in al-Irwa’ (247)].

Fatwas of Scholars regarding Tarbiyah

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Ibn Qudaamah (رحمه الله) said: This telling and discipline is prescribed in the case of children in order to train them to pray, so that they will be used to it and it will become their habit, and they will not forsake it when they reach puberty. End quote. [From al-Mughni, Kitab al-Ṣalah, Bab Ṣifat al-Ṣalah (1/441)] 1.

When children reach the age of seven, they should be instructed and encouraged to offer salah. If they neglect it by the age of ten, they may be disciplined through light smacking. Likewise, they should be taught to fast in Ramadan and encouraged to perform righteous deeds, such as reading the Quran, offering nafl prayers, performing Hajj and Umrah when possible, and frequently reciting tasbeeh, tahleel, takbeer, and tahmeed. They should also be prevented from committing all kinds of sin. This is an essential part of Islamic tarbiyah.

Imam Nawawi (رحمه الله) said: “That (smacking) is permissible when it is for disciplining the child, training him, and ensuring his proper upbringing and the like.” [Kitab Fatawa an-Nawawi] 2

Al-Hafiz Ibn Hajar (رحمه الله), while discussing the hadith “Command your children to pray at seven…”, explains in Fath al-Bari that this instruction demonstrates gradual tarbiyah through training first, followed by measured disciplinary correction when needed. [Reference: Fath al-Bari — commentary related to the prophetic instruction on disciplining children for prayer]

Shaykh Ibn Baaz (رحمه الله) said: Take care of the members of your household and do not neglect them, O slave of Allah. You have to strive hard in their best interests, and tell your sons and daughters to pray at the age of seven, and smack them (lightly) if they do not do so when they are ten, a light smack that will help them to obey Allah and make them get used to offering prayers on time, so that they will adhere properly to the religion of Allah and know the truth, as is narrated in sahih reports from the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ). End quote. [Majmu’ Fataawa Ibn Baaz (6/46)].

Shaykh Ibn Uthaymeen (رحمه الله) said: The Prophet (ﷺ) commanded us to tell our children to pray when they are seven years old, and to smack them (lightly) if they do not pray when they are ten years old, even though they are not obliged to do that yet, so that they may be trained in doing acts of worship and obedience and may get used to them, so that it will be easy for them to do that after they grow up and it will be dear to them …

… The same applies to all matters that are blameworthy; young children should not get used to them even though they are not yet under any obligation, because otherwise they will get used to them when they grow up and will enjoy indulging in them. End quote. [Fatawa Noor ala al-Darb, 11/386]

The command implies that it is obligatory (for Tarbiyah), but it is limited only to cases where smacking will be beneficial, because sometimes you smack a child but he does not benefit from being smacked, it only makes him scream and cry more and does not serve any benefit. Moreover what is meant by smacking here is smacking that is not painful, a light smack that serves the purpose and does not cause any harm. End quote. [Liqa al-Baab il-Maftooh, 95/18]

He (رحمه الله) also said: It should not be a smack that causes injury, and it should not be a smack in the face for example, or a smack to a delicate body part; rather he should be smacked on the shoulder or the hand and the like, which would not cause him any bodily harm …

… Smacking on the face is risky, because the face is the highest and noblest part of a person and if a person is smacked on the face it is more humiliating and shameful than if he were to be smacked on the back. Hence it is forbidden to smack on the face. End quote. [Fatawa Noor ‘ala al-Darb, 13/2]

Shaykh Al-Albani (رحمه الله) said: Beating and spanking is not (allowed) at all. Instead the child should be advised. Sometimes words have a greater affect on people than hitting. And sometimes hitting does not help at all, rather it makes them persist in doing that. The best guidance is the guidance of Muhammad (ﷺ). The child should not be hit as long as he did not reach the age of puberty… [Excerpt from the audio lecture “La Qushoor Fil Islam.”] 2

Shaykh al-Fawzaan (رحمه الله) said: Smacking (lightly) is one of the means of child rearing. The teacher may smack, the trainer may smack, the guardian may smack for disciplinary purposes; and the husband may smack his wife in cases of willful defiance (nushooz) …

… But that must be within certain limits, and it should not be a blow that causes pain, breaks the skin or breaks the bone; rather it should be only as much as is necessary. End quote. [Ighaathat al-Mustafeed bi Sharh Kitaab al-Tawhid (282)] 3.

The following question was put to Shaykh bin baaz (رحمه الله):

What is the ruling on hitting children for tarbiyah that are under 10 years old for any incident they do? What is your advice for this?

Shaykh answered: “It is for the father and the mother to discipline the children if they see that (it’s correct), even if they’re under 10 and even if they are under 7. If he sees (it’s correct) to discipline his child, male or female, there is nothing wrong with this, but with something that suits him and does not harm him, a light discipline which benefits him and does not harm him …

… If he was oppressing his little brothers, if he was playing in the house in a way that harms, or what resembles that, he is disciplined with light strikes/ hits or with harsh speech that rebukes him or light strikes or prevent him from some of his needs which he wants until he straightens up …

… (This discipline is) from the mother and the father and from his older brother if he does not have a father and a mother or from his paternal uncle or from his maternal aunt according to his situation; this means from whoever is raising him and taking care of him. It is for him to discipline him (the child) whether it is a mother or father or maternal uncle or maternal aunt or older brother according to his situation …

… So it is upon the one who raises him and takes care of him to discipline him with something that does not harm him, something light but benefit occurs from it.” End Quote. [Taken from Shaikh’s Website] 4

Wise and Balanced Approach to Child’s Upbringing

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In reality, each child may respond differently to disciplinary measures. Therefore, parents should carefully assess which forms of discipline are most effective for their particular child’s tarbiyah. Raising children requires a balance between encouragement and warning.

The most important element of all is creating a righteous environment in which children can grow and be guided. This includes providing the means for their proper guidance and ensuring that their educators, especially their parents, are religiously committed.

It is the responsibility of the child’s parents to decide whether smacking or light disciplinary action is required, while keeping its dos and don’ts in mind. Today, we see ill-mannered children throughout society. One of the main reasons behind this is the carelessness of parents and the harmful effects of non-Islamic influences and corrupt cultural trends.

Parents should not merely act as a father or mother to the child; rather, they must also fulfil the roles of teacher, guide, disciplinarian, and protector. Depending on the situation, parents should adopt the appropriate role in correcting and admonishing the child.

Those who claim that all forms of disciplinary smacking for tarbiyah are unacceptable overlook the balanced guidance of Islam. When a child repeatedly refuses to respond to verbal correction, light disciplinary smacking may at times be necessary as a means of admonishment, provided it remains within the limits as prescribed by Islam.

Even contemporary child-development specialists emphasize that children require clear boundaries, consistent correction, and firm discipline. Effective upbringing is not based on permissiveness, but upon a balance of mercy, guidance, correction, and structure. This is fully consistent with the balanced Islamic concept of tarbiyah, which combines compassion with discipline for the moral and spiritual development of the child.

Conclusion

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Physical discipline, when exercised within the limits prescribed by Islam, is a part of tarbiyah that many Muslims have neglected due to the influence of non-Islamic cultural trends. In many Western societies, physical discipline is often criminalized, but this does not reflect the balanced guidance of Islam. Muslims must give the utmost attention to providing the best tarbiyah for their children.

Parents should ensure that their children do not harm others or become a cause of trouble for those around them. They should teach them not to disobey Allah, not to disrespect their elders, not to fall into bad habits or harmful company, and not to become a burden upon the Ummah.

Parents should keep their children away from places of immorality and misguidance. They should not allow them to grow up exposed to corrupt influences from television and other harmful sources, and then expect them to become righteous, for whoever sows thorns cannot harvest grapes. This training must begin when children are young, for early discipline and guidance make upright conduct easier for them as they grow older. In this way, they become accustomed to obedience, and it becomes easier for parents to direct them toward what is right and away from what is wrong.

Tarbiyah (the proper upbringing of children) includes admonition through words (whether gentle or stern), disciplinary smacking or light beating (without causing any physical harm), punishment and reward, the use of appropriate psychological methods to achieve good outcomes, and most importantly, making dua to Allah!

Your children are your investment for the Akhirah. Nurture them with proper tarbiyah today, for a righteous child is among the greatest continuing sources of reward after death!

Wallahualam (and Allah knows best)!

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Footnotes:

1. 1. Ibn Qudamah, al-Mughni, Kitab al-Ṣalah, Bab Ṣifat al-Ṣalah (1/441). [Source: https://shamela.ws/book/8463/439]
   2. Kitab Fatawa an-Nawawi. [Source: https://shamela.ws/book/497/127 ]
   3. Muhammad Naasir al-Deen al-Albaani, La Qushoor fi al-Islam (audio lecture). [Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XSlCpRy9T94]
   4. Ianat al-Mustafid bi Sharḥ Kitab al-Tawḥid Li Salih al-Fawzan. [Source: https://shamela.ws/book/8565/655]
   5. Taken from Shaikh’s Website: http://www.binbaz.org.sa/mat/17865